In Waves

In futures I feel, but can hardly imagine

I recognise the pillowy grip, wrapped in strips around my finger

Through which I exchange, in countercurrent flows

Murmurs of warmth that sink away

Into cinnamon cheeks,

Marshmallow summits,

Soft felt as plump as a Moomin, heft and all

With the incipient glow of a nascent, smouldering campfire.

I huddle around its purity, and weep.

Joy, fear, hope,

These tears have no answer.

They roil and roll into a decaying, lost whimper.

Division by division, atoms and strings.

There, every boy, every girl,

All together, or never at all.

Dancing around in flashing wavelengths,

Refusing to sit still—

Like father, like child.

They fizz and they blur in interpolation;

With one mistake, another collapses,

In another turn, they branch and they split,

Out and in, in nauseating spins,

Kaleidoscopic and ceaseless.

I call out in greeting;

Hapless echoes chart a latent space--

Unknowable, unthinkable, oceanic.

What must I do to finally see you?

When will you prospect the hairs of my chin?

Where will I hold my Moomin kin?

To the futures I feel, but can hardly imagine,

Such beauty on pale canvas,

I will set sail in pursuit.

One way or another, I will find who you are;

Wherever you are, whenever you come,

I will love you more than I thought possible.

Wait for me in waves;

One day, I will make you real.